Muppets Revamped Series 2!
by Charon the Sabercat
Summary: It's the Muppet Show with your favorite cartoon stars! The MC is Bob the Builder! 12 oz. Mouse is Gonzo! Weird Al's the first guest star! HOW MUCH WORSE CAN IT GET! Read and review to find out!


Muppets Revamped, Series 2!

Yeah, all my other fanfics are gone. Well, all the ones in progress, anyway. Time to enjoy fanficing again and start over with ANOTHER Muppets Revamped! See your favorite male Family Guy news anchor get subjected to various humiliations! See a furry character from an obscure 1960's cartoon give vital information, in rhyme! Get subjected to an failed Adult Swim cartoon's weird introductions! On second thought, this might not turn out well...

* * *

Bob, of Bob the Builder, clenched his hands tightly as Kermit handed him a golden key. "Oo, this is gonna be so much fun, Mr. Frog!" 

Kermit nodded in a wise way, Fozzie mimicking him with an exaggerated head swing which sent his hat flying. "I couldn't pass up an opportunity like this, would you?"

Bob the Builder could barely contain his excitement. His hands began to shake, and he clutched the glowing key to his chest. "EeeeEEEEE! Can I open the door now, PLEASE!"

Kermit smiled. "Well, okay. Have fun, Bob."

The key was already halfway in the keyhole. "Muppets, here I come!"

A bright light flashed, and the sound of crashing stage equipment filled the room...

&&&

"Hi, there, everybody!" Bob waved to the crowd of assorted cartoon stars, having to stand on two Coke crates to get his head to wear people could see him. Apparently, being an 8-inch tall cartoon star left him, at the most, 4 feet tall in the Muppet studio. Nonetheless, the backstage of the Muppet show fit him just fine. "Welcome to the Muppet Show Revamped! I'm your MC, Bob the Builder. Tonight, we have gathered all of you big cartoon stars here under one roof in order to showcase your talents for our faithful audience. Any questions?"

Inu-yasha looked about in a frenzy, at the same time terrified and ecstatic. "Woah, woah, this is the Muppet place! I've BEEN here! Are we having another hostile takeover!"

Bob sniffed, "No."

The dog-demon sighed. "Dang."

Tom Tucker bolted to the prettiest person he could find: Ulala from Space Channel 5. "Hi, I'm Tom Tucker. How does it feel to be part of an authoress's thinly veiled attempt to win reviews by cashing in on the popularity of various cartoons and The Muppet Show?"

Ulala blushed. "Um, there are no camera's rolling..."

Tom's enthusiasm quickly faded, and his shoulder's slunk. "I don't even care anymore..."

Ulala slowly crept away.

Scooby-Doo somehow emerged from the woodwork. "rI'm confused."

"In all fairness," Bob shamelessly plugged, "Reading 'The Muppets Revamped' by Charon the Sabercat before reading this would greatly enhance the experience. Okey-dokey, then, where's Scooter?"

A flash of yellow and blue snapped to Bob's side. Once it was still, Bob recognized it as Zatch Bell. His hand snapped to a salute at his head. "Hi,Bob,myname'sZatchandKermithiredmetogoaroundandgetstuffforyou,sir!"

Bob held back a snicker. "I ask for a go-fir, and I get a trained monkey."

12 oz. Mouse watched with little interest as Jeremy Hillary Boob, Ph.D. from "Yellow Submarine" began to dance about happily. "The Muppet Show is where we are! The brightest shining puppet star! We pull this off, it will be grand, for still there are no plans at hand!"

Mouse muttered something about puppets and pretzels that Jeremy couldn't quite understand.

"Woah, who called in Disney!"

Bob spun around at the sound of the voice; sure enough, his face slammed smack into Bart Simpson. The yellow child laughed. "Man, as if this wasn't enough of a baby show!"

Lisa appeared behind him, holding her saxophone with loose fingers. "Bob, I respect your enthusiasm for the theater, but wouldn't someone with experience outside of Nick Jr. be better for this job?"

Bob wasn't sure which insult hurt more, so he ignored the children. "Okay, everybody, get ready! It's time for the theme song!"

The cry of "THEME SONG!" went through the stage, and the crew rushed to their places.

&&&

**Ulala rolled in the opening notes on the piano. Bob's head popped out of the "O" on the "Muppet Show" sign. "It's the Muppet Show Revamped 2, with our special guest star, Mr. Weird Al Yankovic! YEAAAH!"**

**Bob was lifted away with the sign as the curtains opened. The Eclectic Bedlam (the local band comprised of the entire cast of Homestar Runner) played the opening theme along with Ulala, who was happily tickling the ivories of Rolf's piano. A line of Smurfs, the perfect non-distracting extras, can-canned their way across the stage.**

_Smurfs: It's time to play the music_

_It's time to light the lights_

_It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight!_

_Another line of Smurfs: It's time to put on makeup_

_It's time to dress up right!_

_It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight!_

**With a flourish of horns, Inu-yasha popped out of the curtains. "Hey, I hear Tokyo's so crowded lately that even the cemeteries have standing room only. HA!"**

**The curtains quickly slammed shut on Inu-yasha's nose. Bob shuffled out into view, doing a goofy-looking dance. **

_Bob: To introduce our guest stars_

_That's what I'm here to do,_

_So it really makes my happy_

_To introduce to you-_

**He stopped his goofy dance and waved his hand to the curtain. "Mr. Weird Al Yankovic!"**

**The curtain opened again to find Weird Al Yankovic surrounded by cartoons, most noticeably the Flintstones.** **He waved goofily to the audience and made a face.**

**The curtain closed and opened again to Bob standing at the center of a tiered bandstand.**

_Bob: But now let's get things started_

_On the most sensational-_

**More toons appeared beside him.**

_Bob and toons: Inspirational-_

**And more above him.**

_Bob and more toons: Celebrational-_

**And more above them!**

_Bob and most toons: "Muppet"-tational!_

**Soon, the entire stage was filled with cartoons, animes, video game characters, and everything****in-between! The stage lit up in a glorious blast of light, the "Muppet Show" sign the brightest of all of them.**

_Bob and all toons: This is what we_

_Call the Muppet_

_SHOW!_

**12 oz. Mouse, who was at the top of the stand, held a horn to his lips. As he began the ending note, a white bubble popped out of the horn! The white bubble turned out to be Homsar, who shouted, "Aa-AA-Aa-aa-I'm the Great Muppet Capeeer."**

**Mouse raised an eyebrow. "Heavy."**

&&&

Bob waved to the audience and bowed. "Thank you, thank you, and welcome again to the Muppet Show Revamped, voted the variety/musical show hosted by a doll."

He chuckled while the audience squeezed out a few laughs. "Well, let's get on to our first act, sung by the very talented and very clever songwriter, our own professional of parody, Mr. Weird Al Yankovic."

"You mean Weird Al Man-you-stink!" Bart Simpson cried from the balcony seat, followed by his trademark laugh.

"Oh no!" Bob groaned as he mentally braced himself for the heckling. "Guys, please, this is our guest star! Could you be a little nicer?"

"We're not getting cameos to be _nice_," Bart explained.

"I find it odd that you described Mr. Yankovic as a songwriter," Lisa remarked, "With most of his fame having come from song _parodies_."

"Yeah, well..." Bob was at a bit of a loss. "He's written original stuff, too!"

"Yeah, because everybody's got a copy of 'Mr. Frump in his Iron Lung' on cassette tape at home."

Bob knew this had to end, and quickly. "Um, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Weird Al Yankovic!"

&&&

**The Kids Next Door were sitting in an ice cream shop, happily munching away at various frozen treats. Numbah 1 had just taken the last bite of his Creamsicle and was waving to the man at the counter (who happened to be Frosty from Bo-bo-bo Bo bo-bo). "Say, Mr. Frosty, how about a scoop of Rocky Road?"**

**Accordion music began playing on the jukebox, but it wasn't regular accordion music. In fact, it sounded like "I Love Rock and Roll". But how could that-**

**At that moment, Weird Al burst through the front doors of the parlor, dressed in a tough leather suit (well, it would've been tougher if it wasn't green with yellow polka-dots). The audience screamed with delight.**

**Weird Al leaned down to Numbah 1.**

_Weird Al: I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool._

**He flipped himself over to face Numbah 5. **

_Weird Al: Keep a couple of quarts in my locker at school._

**Numbah 3 lifted a chocolate cone to Al, which he rejected. **

_Weird Al: Yeah, the chocolate's gettin' old._

_Vanilla just leaves me cold._

**Numbah 2 groaned, lowering his vanilla swirl. "Aw, man."**

**Weird Al grabbed the ice cream man by the scruff of his neck. **

_Weird Al: There's just one flavor good enough for me-_

_Weird Al and KND: Yeah, me!_

**He flung the ice cream man back with a flourish, tripping over his own feet.**

_Weird Al: Don't gimme no crummy "taste spoon",_

_I know what I need._

_Baby-_

**With a clumsy jump, Weird Al scaled a booth and raised his fist, urging the Kids Next Door on.**

_Weird Al and KND: I love rocky road!_

_So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby!_

_I love rocky road,_

_So have another triple scoop with me!_

_Weird Al: WOW!_

**He stomped across the room, the Kids Next Door following him like ducklings. Frosty rose to his feet, only to be squashed by a random Bo-bo-bo colored anvil.**

_Weird Al: They tell me ice cream junkies are all the same;_

_All the soda jerk-ers know my name._

_When their supply is gone,_

_Then I'll be moving on..._

**Numbah 1 unexpectedly bounded over to the newly recovered Frosty, grabbed him by the collar, and pointed in his face.**

_Numbah 1: But he'll be back on Monday afternoon-_

_KND: You'll see._

_Weird Al: Another TRUCKLOAD'S comin' in for me!_

_All for me!_

**The truckload then arrived and dumped its entire load of rocky road ice cream on Frosty.**

_Weird Al: I'm singin'-_

_Weird Al and KND: I love rocky road!_

_So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby!_

_I love rocky road,_

_So have another triple scoop with-_

_I love rocky road!_

_So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby!_

_I love rocky road,_

_So have another triple scoop with-_

_I love rocky road!_

_So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby!_

_I love rocky road,_

_So have another triple scoop with_

_ME!_

**Frosty dug himself out from the ice cream just in time to see Al take a spoonful (a SINGLE SPOONFUL) of rocky road and eat it, say, "Thanks, Frosty. See you tomorrow?", and leave.**

&&&

**Johnny Bravo strutted across the stage bravely and smugly, familiar techno rising over the speakers.**

_Johnny: I'm too sexy for my shirt_

_Too sexy for my shirt-_

**He leaned up against Faye Valentine, who reeled in disgust.**

_Johnny: So sexy-_

**Faye grabbed his arm and judo flipped his face into the floor. She stormed away with Johnny lifting his head.**

_Johnny: It hurts._

The audience roared.

&&&

Bob ushered the maintenance Smurfs on stage. "Hurry, go clean Johnny up, we've got a talk spot soon."

"Bob!"

Bob turned around to find Weird Al Yankovic. He was flanked by an animated Edward Grimly, Ed from Ed, Edd, and Eddy, and Homsar.

"Uh..." Bob lifted his hat and scratched his head. "Hi, guys, how are you?"

"It's not who he are, you know," Edward spoke in his unmistakable tone, "It's who we are, baby."

Weird Al stood quickly at attention. "We are the SCGC, the Strange Cartoon Guys Coalition!"

Bob continued to scratch his head. "Okay..."

Ed suddenly yelled, "WE'RE ALL THE WEIRD DUDES!"

"OH, all the weird dudes!" Bob waved off his confusion and laughed. "Okay, what do you guys need?"

"We demand more pointless and weird acts on the show!" Al shouted. "Just like the original Muppets! We want the return of the Vend-A-Face and Gonzo's bits!"

"Aaand wee wanna be in 'em!" Homsar spouted in his most lucid phrase since his debut.

"Uh..." Bob fiddled with the brim of his hat. "Well, we already have Mouse doing some bits, but I don't know about Vend-A-Face... hmm... tell you what."

Bob dug around under the counter and pulled out a green-and-yellow can. "Here's some lemon-lime Shasta. I'll see what I can do."

He tossed it into Al's hands. All The Weird Dudes crowded around it as if Bob had just given them the Holy Grail. "Ooo, Shasta..."

Bob placed his head on the counter. "Now I know what Kermit feels like."

&&&

Bob grinned into the camera (a fake smile because he was dressed in a suit). "Greetings, everyone, it is time to raise the intellectual level of our program. Welcome to this chapter's Talk Spot. Here today, I have with me Foamy the Squirrel-"

Foamy, who was sitting to Bob's right, waved to the camera. "Howdy."

"The Tiny Plaid Ninjas-"

The Red and Blue ninjas hopped out of their chair to Bob's left and made goofy poses that vaguely resembled martial arts.

"Homestar Runner-"

Homestar blinked in a cute fashion. "Heyo, Nebwaska!"

"And our special consultant, Waylon Onsumguy."

"Waylon Onsumguy" was Weird Al in a ridiculous costume which included phony bug antennae and a Groucho Marx nose and glasses. He responded in a sophisticated, but convincingly fake, British accent, "How do you do, old bean?"

Bob again turned his attention to the audience. "Our topic for today is 'Are Internet cartoons getting too stupid?'."

Homestar began with, "Well, Jewome, I beweive dat Innernet cawtoons awe badwy animated, and-"

"Look, _this_ is the perfect example!" Foamy interrupted. "It's hardly been _2_ seconds, and this moron's already forgotten both the topic _AND_ your name!"

"Internet cartoons _do_ have honor!" Red Ninja interjected.

"Unlike _you_!" Blue Ninja snapped back.

Red Ninja jumped into the air. "You die!"

Bob blushed and backed out of the way of the fighting ninjas. "Uh, yeah. Mr. Onsumguy, do you have any comments?"

"Waylon Onsumguy" was his foot behind his head.

"I guess not." Bob folded his hands and looked at the camera, his eyes crossing. "Well, that's all for today's talk spot, tune in next week for our next topic, 'Is Internet violence becoming too-'"

Red Ninja suddenly went flying into the wall.

"...'violent?'." Bob blushed again. "Bye."

&&&

**Bugs Bunny kept time with his foot to start off the band. Daffy thumped out the baseline while Taz drummed, and Bugs kept a hand hovering above his guitar.**

_Bugs: Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner_

_But he knew it couldn't last._

_Jojo left his home in Tuscon, Arizona,_

_For some California grass._

_Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged._

_Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged._

_Get back, Jojo._

**Bugs plucked out the soulful tune to "Get Back", Daffy and Taz gently bopping their heads in time.**

_Bugs: Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman_

_But she was another man._

_All the girls around her say she's got it comin',_

_But she gets it while she can._

_Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged._

_Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged._

_Get back Loretta._

**Daffy looked up quickly from his bass. "Hey, wait a minute. Why do I have a fthsudden fthfeeling of deja fthvu?"**

**Bugs shrugged. "Dunno."**

**Daffy cocked his head. "I fthfeel like we've done thifths befthfore."**

"**Ya do ra do da!" Taz raspberried. "Play drums, play drums!"**

"**Hush, we've gotta finish it off." Bugs suddenly the band.**

_Bugs: Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged._

_Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged..._

**Daffy frowned. "Well, that wasn't much."**

**Taz ate a floor tom.**

&&&

Mouse seemed to bow to the audience; they couldn't tell through the bad animation. "Okay, so, like, um, today, I'm gonna like, take, a, like, um..."

He closed his eyes and pondered.

And pondered.

"You're doing a balancing act!" Bob called from the back.

"Right! Right, balancing act." Mouse took a pepper shaker out of his fur and began sprinkling himself with it. "I'm gonna, like, balance on a lion's nose, and, like, um, say the Ple-"

"Paul Revere's Ride!"

"Paul's River Rise, yah." Mouse stepped back to reveal a lion, who eyed him suspiciously and sniffed him, producing a sneeze. "Well, like, here we go."

Mouse jumped on top of the lion's nose. "L-"

The lion promptly swallowed him. He licked his lips. "Ah likes 'em spicy!"

&&&

"GAH! Get mouse out of the lion, quick quick quick!" Bob rubbed his temples, resisting the temptation to kick the utility Smurf. "Oy..."

"Bob!"

Bob jumped a foot and landed clutching his heart; Inu-yasha was staring right at him, crouching to see Bob at eye level. "Hey, short man, I want an act! When am I going on!"

"Uh, I don't know, Inu-yasha." Bob picked up a clipboard and began flipping the pages. "We don't really have a plan yet."

"I don't care, I want an act!" Inu-yasha shuffled closer to Bob. "Come on, short man! Give me something!"

"Well, All The Weird Dudes are doing the final act," Bob suggested. "Why don't you go with them?"

After a second of being stunned, Inu-yasha turned and ran.

Bob shrugged. "Whatever."

&&&

**A giant head (or rather, top of a head) opened up to reveal Weird Al, Edd, Edward, and Homsar. They began to march in place to the drum beat. **

_ATWD: I've lived in apartments, I've lived in a home.  
I traveled in trailers when I used to roam.  
But now in these places you won't have me dead,  
́Cause I 'm happy I live in a split-level head. _

**Random bat began to fly out from beneath All The Weird Dudes.**  
_ATWD: I do what I want to, no worries, no care.  
If anyone bugs me I climb up my stairs  
Way up to a level where I feel no threat,  
'Cause I'm happy I live in a split-level head._  
**Water gushed down upon All The Weird Dudes, but they kept marching.**_ATWD: Now why should I move when the neighborhood's right?  
No taxes to pay and no landlord to fight.  
Now I call this living, what's more, like I said,  
'cause Im happy I live in a split-level head. _  
**Clouds began to drift by.**  
_ATWD: I live with two people, I like both of them.  
He likes both of me and I like both of him.  
They're my alter-ego and to them I'm wed,  
'Cause I 'm happy I live in a split-level head. _  
**Fireworks popped around All The Weird Dudes.**  
_ATWD: There's no simple status in my neighborhood,  
And that kind of thinking, I think it's so good.  
And I don't take the lead when I like to be led,  
'Cause I'm happy I live in a split-level head._

**There was one final flurry of steps, and then the head closed. "I've got a lot on my mind right now."**

&&&

Strong Bad signaled to the band, the Eclectic Bedlam. "Okay, crap-for-brains! Ending theme!"

Strong Sad sighed. "Why am I always Janet? We have a girl in the band now!"

Strong Sad pointed to Ulala, who smiled from her piano. "You make a better Janet than me, Strong Sad!"

"Oh..."

&&&

"Well, sis," Bart mentioned. "It's just for more chapters to go."

Lisa droned, "Let me go get four more Excedrin..."

* * *

THAT'S THE END! For now, I've got 4 more chapters, he he he. Let's see who we got into this one: 

Space Channel 5

Bob the Builder

12 oz. Mouse

Inu-yasha

Ed, Edd, and Eddy

Edward Grimly (the cartoon version)

Homestar Runner

Neurotically Yours (Rated R, don't look for it, young readers)

Tiny Plaid Ninjas

Johnny Bravo

Cowboy Bebop

Looney Tunes

Kids Next Door

The Simpsons

Bo-bo-bo Bo Bo-bo

And, just for fun, the head from the cover of "You Don't Know Jack"

That's it for now.


End file.
